Celebrity couples move in and out of each other’s penthouse apartments and beach villas all the time. Let’s face it, these guys can afford to. When Janet Jackson and her Qatari business magnate husband, Wissam Al Mana split a few months ago they were hardly struggling to purchase or rent another home.
For the rest of us, making a wrong decision about moving in together can be a financial as well as an emotional disaster. So, you need to be sure that you and your loved one are making the right decision before you take such a big step or you could live to regret it.
It’s good to feel apprehensive
It’s a good sign if you are both feeling a combination of apprehension and excitement. It shows that you both fully appreciate that this is a big step and that you both view it as a commitment. This is bound to set the nerves jangling a little. If one of you is too casual about it, it could mean you’re not taking it seriously enough and aren’t really ready to cohabitate.
Do it because you want to
So many couples move in together because they feel that this is what is expected from them. You may come under pressure from family and friends who want to know when you are going to take your relationship to the next level. Caving into pressure is not a great basis for moving in with each other. There is no fixed timescale. It does not matter if you have been together for 10 days or for 10 years, only the two of you will know when you are ready for the next step.
Are you unhappy living at home with your folks? Are your Mom and Dad driving you crazy with curfews and rules? Perhaps you are in an unhappy apartment share with people that you can’t stand. On the face of it, moving in with your boyfriend sounds like the ideal solution but running from a difficult situation is not the best reason for moving in with each other.
The best plan would be to get somewhere to live by yourself for a while and then think about moving in together if it still seems like a great idea after a few months. Moving in together should be a positive decision and not a way of escaping a bad situation.
Don’t do it as a substitute
Does one of you want to get married and start a family? Is the other one agreeing to move in as a way of avoiding this? It means that you are not moving in together for the same reasons! One of you is viewing it as a pathway to what you really want. The other is viewing it as a way of avoiding something that they don’t want to do. Before you move in together you need to sit down and have an honest chat about what you want out of the relationship and when you want it to happen. You may get a shock!
Wait until you’ve had your first relationship crisis
Every relationship has to go through a first crisis. This is unavoidable. It will be upsetting and traumatic and may even involve you splitting up for a short time. Until this happens, you are not ready to move in together. If you move in together too soon, you will have your first major conflict when you are living under the same roof. This gives you nowhere to go to cool down and puts huge pressure on you both to sort it out quickly.
If you have been through your first relationship crisis and survived you may be ready to go for that long-term commitment. Making up after a huge argument is a key skill that couples have to develop. If he arrives at your door with a huge bouquet by way of an apology you need to make sure that say sorry with a gift too. There are loads of cool gifts for men that make a perfect present to show him that you love him and are glad that you are together. You could get him an action adventure weekend away or a beer tour!
Spend prolonged periods in each other’s company
If you have not spent more than a couple of hours in each other’s company then you have no way of knowing if this is going to work out and you are taking a huge risk. You need to go on holiday together or stay over in each other’s flats for a couple of weeks to check that you are compatible.