HOW-TO Give Yourself A Confidence Boost! April 13, 2016April 13, 2016The DivaGals Leave a Comment Hi DivaGals! Ever feel a little lacking in confidence? Even if you’re an outgoing Diva most of the time, you can still feel a little shy in unfamiliar situations. When you’re faced with a job interview or meeting the new boo’s family, suddenly you might not feel so confident. Some of us can struggle with being assertive every day. As women, we’re often socialized to be meek and apologetic, even when going after something we want. If you want to be a more confident person and take control of your life, it takes practice. Confidence might come naturally to some people, but most of us have to practice. Here’s how you can gain more confidence and be more of a fabulous DivaGal! Forget About Impressing A lot of people will say that they don’t care what others think of them, but it’s rarely accurate. Most of us do think about how we’re perceived by others, at least a little bit. It’s healthy to have some regard for what people think of you. We all know someone who uses a disregard for others opinions to act obnoxiously. Being polite and thinking before you speak are both positive things. However, it’s not good to constantly obsess over how people see you. If you’re always worrying about what others think, you might never say or do anything. Try not to worry too much about impressing others. Although you need to impress in some areas, like your job, you should be doing it more for you than for anyone else. Don’t Aim for Perfection So doing things for your own satisfaction can help you to be more confident. But you can also go too far, and be obsessed with doing everything perfectly. It can be pretty hard to get the right balance between not accepting failure and striving for success. You can push yourself to be the best, but you should try to avoid wanting things to be perfect. If you don’t settle for anything less than perfection, it can cause you anxiety. That’s not good for your confidence and self-esteem. You can feel like you never get anything right. This thought pattern then leads to being afraid to try. Or you might feel like there’s no point because you’ll never be happy with yourself. Try to focus more on getting something done, and not how perfectly you do it. Get Positive Negative thinking can ruin anyone. Once you start thinking negatively, it can get worse and worse until it’s hard to escape. We can form the same thought patterns again and again, until they become automatic, and we get trapped. Being positive is key to boosting your confidence. The first thing you should do is avoid any negative influences in your life. They might come in the form of people who are always putting you down. However, getting rid of these external forces won’t necessarily change your internal thoughts. It’s important to work on seeing things positively and feeling optimistic. Some people might even find that therapy such as CBT helps them change their thought patterns. Take Care of Yourself Most women would probably say they take care of themselves, even if they lack confidence. Maybe you spend a long time doing your hair or picking out your outfit every day. However, there’s more to looking after yourself than working on your appearance. You should work on your mind and body to feel more confident. If you have low self-esteem as well as low confidence, it can be hard to convince yourself that you deserve to treat yourself well. But if you respect yourself, you’ll feel like others should respect you too. And with an expectation of respect comes greater confidence. Of course, it helps to look great too. Get Comfortable with Your Body Body language can make a huge difference to how comfortable you feel and appear. Your body language might not necessarily make you feel more confident. But it helps to follow the “fake it until you make it” philosophy. There’s a lot to presenting yourself as a more confident person. As you begin to act more confident, you’ll start to feel it too. If there’s one thing you should start with, it’s your smile. A confident smile will go a long way in lots of different situations. A lot of women don’t feel happy about their smile. If you’re one of them, you might want to start with working on your teeth. Disliking their teeth is one of the primary reasons a lot of people don’t like to smile a lot or try to hide it when they do. Take action by coming up with a dental plan. Dental insurance, including policies from MyDental.GuardianLife.com, can be the best place to start. Your plan can cover both health and cosmetics for a more beautiful smile. But it’s not just your teeth that will help you smile more confidently. Try practicing in the mirror to perfect that confident smile. Don’t forget to work on your other body language too. Standing tall, with excellent posture, will help you to appear more confident. You should avoid doing anything that makes you look hesitant or closed off. For example, folding your arms can make you look unapproachable. Making eye contact with the people you speak to is important too. It can be more difficult if you’re talking to a group of people. Giving a presentation can be especially hard. Just remember to give everyone equal attention. Be Prepared for Any Situation Since confidence is a skill you can learn, it’s often all about being prepared. If you’re unprepared but feeling confident, it’s possible that you’re actually feeling arrogant. Preparation is key for any situation, especially when it’s something you haven’t experienced before. If you’re going for a job interview, you’ll feel much more confident if you take the time to prepare. But you don’t have to wait until a formal situation comes up. Even if you feel nervous about a social event, you can do some preparation. Think of some topics you can bring up if the conversation slows down, for example. Psych Yourself Up Sometimes, the best way to give yourself a confidence boost is to remind yourself of how awesome you are. If you convince yourself you can do something, you’ll feel much better about going ahead and doing it. One of the things you can do is to make a list of your achievements. It’s surprisingly easy to forget about when you do things well. Even if it was the same thing you’re nervous about now, you could remember it wrong. If you’re interviewing for a new job, think back to the interview you had for your current one. At the time, you might not have felt that confident, but in the end, you got the job. Just telling yourself that you’re going to be amazing can create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Hang Out with Confident People We all learn by watching and copying others. That’s how you can pick up lots of different skills, from driving to playing an instrument. So why not do the same with learning how to be more confident? It can help to surround yourself with outgoing people whose behavior can rub off on you. You can watch how they interact with people and present themselves in different situations. You could even ask them outright how they feel and present themselves as a confident person. You’ll soon pick up on their techniques, and they’ll start to come more naturally to you. Put Yourself Out There You can’t get more confident if you don’t practice. You have to be willing to put yourself into different situations so you can practice your skills. Practice makes perfect, so don’t be afraid to go out of your way to try things out. Before you do something new, think about the skills you want to use. For example, you might want to practice being more assertive. Set yourself a challenge to ask for something in your personal or professional life. Try to do it without being apologetic or roundabout. Be direct and express your wishes clearly. Use “I will” instead of “I would like to”, and “I am” instead of, “I think I am”. You might find the results surprising. Understand the Difference Between Confidence and Arrogance Some people are hesitant to act confidently because they’re afraid of coming across as arrogant. It’s true that if your confidence goes a little too far, you can seem full of yourself. But it’s not difficult to separate the two things. It’s not arrogant to accept a compliment someone gives you, or even to outline your skills when asked. However, you should remain humble and recognize that you can always improve. Even people who are experts in their field can still have plenty to learn. You have to work at improving your confidence because it won’t happen on its own. Make it a priority if you want to be a more confident and competent person. Share This!