Our Sensuous Diva gives advice on dating men with enormous… bank accounts.
The city is full of them: men in power suits; shiny, gelled, smooth-talking wheeler-dealers forever on their blue tooths. It’s not unusual to find these men attractive. Power, wealth and brains have been aphrodisiacs for women since the beginning of civilization. It’s why Cleopatra needed both Marc Anthony and Caesar; she just couldn’t get enough!
We women are hard wired to admire, strength, power and wealth. There attributes that once indicated good chances of being able to provide for and protect us and our offspring have morphed into traits that turn us on, even if we don’t know why.
Recently, I was having a conversation with an extremely successful man. He started out from humble beginnings and managed to put himself through school and climb close to the very top of the success pyramid. Basically, he’s an average looking nerd who did well. He told me that when he first became successful he noticed how he became instantly more attractive to women and admittedly used that to his advantage to play the field, getting the kind of action usually associated with men who are handsome and charismatic.
There’s no reason to feel ashamed about wanting to date one of these men. I have dated both men with means and men without. As the saying goes, “it’s just as easy to date a rich man as it is a poor one.” It’s important to remember they’re just men, not gods. If you’re not used to being around affluence, there might be some challenging aspects for you. Here are my tips.
- Forget that he has money and consider him just another man like any other.
- Rich men like compliments, so don’t be afraid to use one. “Oh! You must be a brilliant (doctor, lawyer, investment banker, stockbroker, venture capitalist, real estate developer etc.). Follow it with an intelligent question like “What made you chose your profession? Do you love what you do?”
- Be charming.
- Be a lady.
- Be soft spoken! Loud noises often frighten men with money away.
- If he thinks you don’t belong to his set, he might not initially have the same respect for you. Even if you’re broke financially, make sure he knows you match him in manners, intelligence, education (in how you use yours wisely), warmth and sophistication. If you do not posses all of these traits, concentrate on the ones you do have and work on improving the others.
- Be enchanting.
- You can help yourself by having polite, interesting conversation at the ready, form example, talking points about a recent film, show, concert or exhibition you have seen, or a book or article you have just read that you thought was good or interesting or pertinent to the conversation at hand.
- Let him take the lead.
- Be the best version of yourself. While he may surpass you in money and sophistication, realize you have a lot to offer, and let that shine.
- Do not say or wear anything that seems the slightest bit vulgar, trashy or ghetto.
- Do not speak of anything financially related.
- Do not say anything about his wealth.
- Do not speak of politics or religion until you know you’re in a committed relationship.
- Do not act like a whore after his money.
- Do not ask him for anything! It is for him to do the offering.
- Do not sleep with him upon your first meeting (or any man for that matter!).
If a rich man flaunts his wealth in your face, know that he has no class and desperately wants to get laid. Your response should be, “I am happy for you that you are successful, but wealth is not the thing that is most important to me. I need to know I am with a gentleman.” Even if he moves on to the next woman who will be an easier target for instant gratification for him, he will respect that you are a lady.
More importantly, you’ll respect yourself.
photo credit: imagerymajestic/FDP.net