What We’re Watching This Week: A Night With My Ex on Bravo! Plus Advice On Getting An Ex Back!By The DivaGals | July 17, 2017 | Entertainment
TUESDAY, July 18
A Night With My Ex SERIES PREMIERE (10 p.m., BRAVO) Bravo’s new series, A Night With My Ex, explores what happens when former couples reunite, for one night only.
Been single for a while? You might be tempted to delve into a part of your memory you usually try to forget exists. In search of finding a significant other, you decide to open up “The Ex Files.”
Everyone has a few chapters in their Ex Files. There’s probably a few guys you would never dream of trying to be with again; the flame hasn’t so much been put out as erased from existence. Then there are the nagging names in that File; the one that got away; the one that left you; the one you didn’t think was right at the time but now seems a much better fit.
If you spend some time with your Significant Ex (and he’s significant enough to definitely deserve those capitals), then you might begin to think about striking a flint and seeing if there’s still a flame. The big question is, however… should you?
You have to be very real and honest with yourself before you try to restart an old relationship. A few probing questions should do it; so here’s an idea of what you should be asking yourself.
Do You Still Care About Why You Broke Up? If you were the one to end the relationship last time, how do you feel now about the factors that pushed you to that decision? There are scenarios in which what was once a problem may now not be. For example, you used to work longer hours and didn’t have time for one another – but now you’re in different jobs and wouldn’t have that issue.
If he was the one who broke things off, how do you feel about his reasoning now? Do you see his point, understand why he did it – or are you still annoyed and feeling slighted? If you’re still bearing a grudge, then restarting that relationship is likely to be a very bad idea.
How Did You Feel When The Relationship Ended? This is a very important factor, regardless of who it was who actually ended the relationship. It’s not going to be a problem for the future if, when the relationship was over the first time around, you felt heartbroken. If you went through a phase where all you could do was sob, read articles like Will He Come Back to Me? What To Do When Your Boyfriend Breaks Up With You, and truly mourned the loss of the relationship – then that’s okay. Being upset at the end of a relationship is natural.
If, however, you remember the end of the relationship as a relatively pleasant time – a few regrets, but mostly a feeling of relief or freedom – then that’s potentially a very bad sign. If you were so relieved to be free of him once, what’s going to make this time so different?
Was Infidelity A Factor? It’s not impossible to repair a relationship after infidelity, but it tends to take an awful lot of work. When that trust is broken, it can never be repaired fully. Think of it like breaking a glass jar; you can glue it back together, but you’re always going to be able to see the joins.
If infidelity was a factor in why the relationship ended, then you need to be ready to confront the lingering trust issues to ensure the same problem isn’t going to happen again. If you do embark on a relationship, then the best thing you can do is seek some kind of therapy to help you work through those issues.
What’s So Different? Finally, perhaps the most important question of all: what’s so different about the potential of the relationship now? Has there been a material change for one or both of you, something that guarantees you’re not going to fall into the same issues again?
Or – as you must ask yourself – are you just looking for an easy route back into a relationship? It’s a lot less nerve-wracking to get back together with an ex than it is to find and embark upon a new relationship. You have to be honest and ask yourself if there’s a real reason you’re pursuing this relationship, or if you’re just on the lookout for any relationship.
There’s no reason that you can’t work out a relationship the second time around. As long as you work to resolve the reasons that you broke up to begin with and confront a future together, then you could actually find the second time is the charm. Be cautious, but there’s no reason not to be hopeful too – this might be the start of something wonderful. Again!