Find A Husband In 90 Days #QuarantineEdition – Labor of Love’s Marcus Lehman Dishes On His Elimination and Experience – A DivaGals’ Exclusive!By Delaina Dixon | July 16, 2020 | Entertainment, Relationships
TV DivaGal is taking a short break from my dating duties tonight to watch Labor of Love! Here’s the premise: Kristy Katzmann, a 41-year-old beauty with motherhood on her mind has 15 men who are ready to settle down and start a family vying to win her hand. Tonight, she’s down to the final two and yes, my popcorn is ready!
On last week’s show, Kristy said goodbye to Marcus Lehman, an anesthesiologist from Cincinnati, Ohio, despite the fact he was one of her favorites in the beginning. Why did things fizzle? I had to find out so I reached out to Marcus himself!
Read on for his very candid answers on those final comments to Kristy, on why he has a “house mother” and on how his cultural background keeps him so closely connected to the maternal figures in his life.
Be sure to tune in and watch the season finale of Labor of Love this Thursday, July 16 at 9 p.m. on FOX. And come back next week for our regularly scheduled dating rituals with our ImageGal Samantha Bessudo Drucker, the originator of the 90 Days To Find Husband No. 2 series, and with InterracialDatingCentral.com!
Marcus, why did you want to do the show?
You’re in a position where you are older than you thought you would be to have some kids and find a good relationship. And once your friends are married off and not going out that much anymore, I decided to be with a bunch of people who were in the same position. I am a little bit of a romantic so why not try to do the search with something that could be exciting and potentially meet a life partner? I had a, “How can’t I” attitude about it.
A lot of people are talking about your authenticity on air. Why do you think that kept coming up? What did we miss that we didn’t see on screen?
I felt having a previous public TV experience with [being on] Survivor many years ago, I would be really authentic and direct about my life and willing to open certain doors. I felt like I was really able to be as authentic as I wanted to be. I’m really earnest about the things I do and the reasons that I’m doing them; I’ve thought a lot about it and put a lot of time and energy into it. I have really learned over the years that’s all I can do. And then it’s up to somebody like Kristy not to be skeptical or doubtful with whatever her experiences were previous to the show. It doesn’t change the fact that I want to wake up every day wanting to be my most authentic self.
You and Kristy started off so strong. What went through your mind during your elimination?
I thought we had really good chemistry, and what I loved about the show is that it really reminded me how to be romantic and how to communicate feelings for somebody when you don’t have a cell phone. I cut out little thought bubbles to let her know I was thinking about her. It was a very personal thing. I lost my sister a few years ago and that was a big part of the process for me, sharing that with somebody in a public setting like this. When you do all that stuff and isn’t necessarily received the way that it’s been given, and all those questions about sincerity, it finally got to the point where I think at that moment in that final conversation, it was disappointing — because of what I thought our potential could be.
You showed a very vulnerable side of yourself in the hometown dates by introducing Kristy to your “house mother.” How have people perceived that?
I always find it fascinating how people will interpret something. So many of my female physician partners at work carry this huge social burden of trying to do it all, from career to motherhood, and they are all burned out. It feels so unfair that they are afraid to ask for help. I want to encourage people that it’s ok to want to have it all and have some help getting there. And I don’t want to treat my help just like some employee that I cut a check to.
Has the reaction made you want to be more independent?
The funny thing is I have my own sewing machine and I can cook. I did ten years of medical school and residency and I couldn’t afford any of those things so I know of that burnout experience. And I knew that one day I would want to treat my kids and my partner in a way that backs off of the pride of doing it all myself and get some help. When I think about taking care of my in-laws, my mom’s room or whatever – having your parents live with you at some point in your life, I hope I get to do that after what they’ve done for me.
In your reaction to Kristy saying, “I can’t be a mother to you and a mother to our child,” you mentioned winning the competition and her dealing with her self-confidence. Is there something you wish you had said differently or do you stand by what you said?
I think that quote used was part of a conversation where I was saying that I strongly want my partner to be confident that I care and to believe in the gestures that I’ve done for them. You make these sincere gestures to show what you’re capable of as a partner and then two minutes out you’re sent home — why would somebody not see these things I’ve sincerely done? A lot of the things that we saw about Kristy in the process too led me to verbalize, “How are you feeling? What’s going on here? We’ve already done these things at this point in our lives. I feel frustrated this isn’t going the way I’d like it to go.” It seems every time I try to approach it in this scenario — because it’s not the first time that I’ve had someone not believe in my sincerity — I wish I could say everything perfectly so no one would be upset ever.
Let’s talk about your mom because she’s amazing. Where is she from?
She’s from Cuba, so I’m Hispanic and grew up in that wonderful culture. They were refugees from Cuba when Castro took over and kicked everyone out. She didn’t speak English coming here and was the first Hispanic woman to get a Ph.D. from the University of Florida. I owe her everything, even things I don’t even know every day, and she’s hilarious.
Are you dating now? And what have you learned about yourself so you can find your ideal partner in the future?
I am dating. I felt I got a lot of affirmation about the things I’m doing right through the drills and experiences on the show that confirmed that I really do want to have children. It taught me that love is hard and you have to be willing to be hurt and be devoted to getting this part right. I think my mom is still willing to give me a chance, she hasn’t written me off. I remain hopeful there’s another one for me and I keep moving.
Until next time… TV DivaGal
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