We’re totally hooked to the new season of Married At First Site on FYI, — the girls are all deliciously diverse DivaGals! Now it’s got us thinking about getting ourselves hitched. But where to start?
Dana Michel has launched MarriageMaterial.co, a crowdsourcing dating site designed as an online solution exclusively for marriage-minded singles searching for true love, as opposed to flings or casual hook-ups. Here are her top tips in getting your search started, and staying on track.
Make Must Have Lists For Him … And You!┬á First, must haves – go for the deep stuff.┬á Can you trust him? Do you admire and respect him? Is he expressive, loving and in touch with his heart and spirituality? Second, make a separate list of nice-to-haves with this future partner. How do you act around him? What does he bring out in you? How do you feel around him? Finally, make this list: what would the woman who attracts a man like the one youΓÇÖve described have to be. That is what you should focus on. Get yourself into a place where you are embodying the woman that ΓÇ£ideal future mateΓÇ¥ would do anything to marry. If you want to get the most amazing man youΓÇÖve ever met to fall in love with you – you have to create yourself, like a fictional character in a novel youΓÇÖre writing, as the most amazing woman youΓÇÖve ever dreamed of being – then heΓÇÖll recognize you as his mate.
Take Note Of Four Things Specifically. 1. How much they do or donΓÇÖt go out of their way for you (physically and emotionally). 2. Observe the way they speak to their mother (with reverence or disdain). 3. See if when you leave their company you feel more expanded than before meeting up with them. 4. Step back and witness how he interacts with you. If he wants you, heΓÇÖll come after you. Yes, itΓÇÖs a little old school, but itΓÇÖs a classic technique. And trust me, you donΓÇÖt want to be running after someone for the rest of your life.
Ask Those Questions. Ask a lot of questions early on and blieve him when he answers you. DonΓÇÖt ignore the red flags. Make sure youΓÇÖre ΓÇ£must-havesΓÇ¥ are present before you have sex that will release a ton of oxytocin — the bonding hormone — and get you addicted to anyone.
Become Your Best Self. Do you feel called into a higher version of yourself in his presence? ThatΓÇÖs a great indicator. Ask a potential mate ΓÇ£How do you see me? What is your vision of me in the future?ΓÇ¥ How a man sees you, beholds you and envisions you in the future has a great influence on how you show up in your relationship and thus the world. You will bloom around the right man.
Show Up As Your Truest Self. Be yourself because thatΓÇÖs who youΓÇÖll be in a few months anyway, and you might as well choose someone who likes you for your real self now, instead of hiding and hiding and hiding until one day you become so exhausted you just canΓÇÖt hide anymore. That may mean you go on a date with him and a few friends (something a little more casual). Collegiate? No, itΓÇÖs actually the fastest way of seeing how he really is around others, and not in the rigid interview-esque format of the one-on-one, in which two people audition for the greatest role of their life: husband or wife. That scenario just lends itself to acting. Connect with a human being, not a ΓÇ£future husband.ΓÇ¥
Leran more at MarriageMaterial.co. Watch Married At First Site on Tuesdays at 9 p.m. on FYI,.