Ask For What You Want, Damn it!

By   |   February 21, 2011   |   Relationships

You’ll have to pardon my French this morning. But I feel this must be declared: we sometimes forget, but no one can read our minds, damn it!

So often we assume that other folks know what we want, but in reality, they are clueless. How are your friends, boyfriends, supervisors, siblings and others supposed to know what you want unless you tell them? The key to getting what you want in life is to ask for what you want. If you donΓÇÖt tell people what you need, they simply will not know.

I have a friend who wanted a promotion, but never told her supervisor that was what she wanted. When she was passed up for a promotion, she was devastated. “I work harder than everyone,” she cried. ΓÇ£I stay later, I get in earlier. IΓÇÖm the go-to girl when there is a problem.ΓÇ¥

I asked her if her supervisor knew she was interested in a promotion. ΓÇ£Of course he does,ΓÇ¥ she snapped at me. ΓÇ£Why else would I work so hard if I didnΓÇÖt want a promotion?ΓÇ¥ I convinced her to tell her supervisor that she wanted a promotion. To her amazement, the supervisor assumed she was working so hard because she liked her position, not because she wanted a promotion.

I could go on for days telling you about friends who never told their husbands or boyfriends what they wanted for ValentineΓÇÖs Day, date night or just for dinner! Instead of making their expectations clear, they would beat around the bush giving vague signals. Vague signals give vague results! If you want something from somebody itΓÇÖs your job to get it, and asking is the first step.

photo credit: Master isolated images/

Filed Under: Relationships

Leave a Comment


  1. Tanya
    Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011
    I agree totally!!! The people in your life are not mind readers. You actually have to open up your mouth and allow the words to be heard by person you want something from.
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