Katie Holmes: How To Reinvent Yourself – A How-to Guide!

By PattyOnSite | July 6, 2012 | Entertainment

Our newest contributor, PattyOnSite, writes a letter to the newly single gal Katie Holmes, who has initiated divorce proceedings from husband of five years, Tom Cruise, last week, to share how to reinvent yourself.

Dear Katie Girl,

I have to admit at first I thought your great escape was just a publicity stunt.

But after reading more about your story I see you acted out of instinct. In true Mama Bear style you did what you had to do to save your daughter and yourself.

New pad – check. Biggest and the baddest bodyguards in place – check. Suri is not suffering & her style chart is still in full force – check.

Now dear Katie doll, it’s time for you to reinvent yourself.┬á You need a career and style makeover!

When you first married TC your style was chicly on point. Every public appearance you looked as if you stepped out of Vogue. You were true to old Hollywood glam. You were sporting the ever so shiny Louise Brooks bob which framed your glowing newlywed shining big brown eyes.┬á You always looked happy — and I can could see why — you were haute-d out!

Then your style and life changed. You gave birth to the most fashionably ubiquitous child in the history of chichi.┬á But in the sea of life and style you were drowning, and you looked like a Suri’s life size rag doll, as if you rolled out of bed and into the streets, which I believe you did.

Yes, you and Suri became classic shopaholics! But Miss Suri knew at her tender age, you have to wear what you buy, unlike you – sorry to say.

Somewhere along the way someone or something told you Uggs were all the rage but only worn with tacky sweats and unwashed T-shirts. You also thought dirty brown ankle boots can be worn with anything – everyday – all day! Where had my Katie girl gone?

You caught the interest of myself and other fashion followers not for your outstanding icon-worthy apparel, but more for your stressed out “housewife” look. In a way, I couldn’t wait to see exactly how raggedy you could look while shopping on Fifth Avenue. Was that was your intention, to stay in the papers? Or maybe it was your cry for help?

Whatever the reasons it’s all in the past like a back issue. You have been media reborn, renewed and redeemed!

Even in the last few days you have rediscovered your style. Your face has a glow — a glow of freedom. Your outfit choices have been top!

Please keep it up — wash your hair – iron your clothes.┬á Throw out those brown boots! Please gain about five pounds, you don’t want to keep looking gaunt, that will age you more than any divorce. I saw you ate ice cream, good going!

Your next move is to re-energize your career! The public loves a bounce back comeback! But not as an actress — that ship has sailed and that’s ok. (You were not very good at it ΓÇô telling you out of love!)┬á Being a judge on Project Runway ΓÇô at first I thought: random!

Then I read you are going to be that new hot celebrity designer. Your company Holmes & Yang will grace New York City Fashion Week with a presentation this September. You are also on the cover of Elle‘s August issue. Well planned, well played.

I say by September you need a new boyfriend. That would be the ultimate bounce back. You could date one of those strapping bodyguards. You will always be protected.

Dating another celeb might not be the best move. “The organization” might try to ruin his career. (I am afraid too, I can’t even type the name!)

Keep your fashion star burning brightly and you will never be out of Vogue again.

Love,
PattyOnSite