Why Is Your Boyfriend So Secretive? The Top Reasons Why!

By   |   June 4, 2015   |   Relationships

Hey Divas! Being in love is one of the best feelings in the world. Even the most dreadful of days can seem irrelevant compared to how you feel about your boyfriend┬áand nothing bad that happens matters because, at the end of the day, you’ve got him as your partner through thick and thin.

ThatΓÇÖs the dream, and thankfully the reality for many who are boo’d up. But what if it’s not so picture perfect? That can be the case if your boyfriend is always so secretive!

Is your boyfriend always acting like heΓÇÖs hiding something? Is he cheating on you with another woman? Well, thatΓÇÖs one possibility. But the thing is there could be many legitimate reasons why he seems to be creepin’.┬á Check these on for size.

He thinks you donΓÇÖt approve of his friends. ItΓÇÖs no secret that some men have friends their girlfriends donΓÇÖt like. There is no rule, unwritten or otherwise, that says everyone must share and enjoy being in the company of each otherΓÇÖs friends! If you hate some of your manΓÇÖs buddies, he might not want to give them up because of that fact. Instead, he might come up with excuses to spend time with them – without you present.

Relationship expert Fran Greene, author of Dating Again with Courage and Confidence says:┬á“the more you try to control your boyfriend by telling him who he can and cannot be friends with- the more he will want to be with his best buds that you have no use for!┬á Try your hardest to be nonjudgmental and matter of fact when he tells you he is hanging out with his friends. ┬áBy being nonchalant, your boyfriend may even spend less time with his friends because he will not feel the need to assert his manliness and independence.”

He doesn’t trust you 100 percent (yet). If you are in a new relationship with someone, they might just need time to fully trust you. Especially if your boyfriend┬áwas hurt a lot by people close to him in the past. In some cases, trust issues can turn into a big problem in relationships. Has your partner admitted he still needs time to ΓÇ£get to know you better?” If so, donΓÇÖt get surprised if he keeps certain elements of his life secret from you at the moment.

Relationship expert Fran Greene says: “respecting your partner’s need for some privacy in the early stages of a relationship is the best thing to do. The more you allow things to unfold naturally, the greater the likelihood your boyfriend will reveal more about himself. No one wants to feel pressured to get closer faster than it feels right.

He’s afraid youΓÇÖll get mad at him for flirting with other women. There are all kinds of people in this world. The guy you choose to call your boyfriend might be the flirty type. If thatΓÇÖs the case, it isnΓÇÖt surprising to know that he might keep those activities to himself! However, just because he has an eye for the ladies doesnΓÇÖt mean that heΓÇÖll be tempted to cheat on you. Some fellas just love being the “loveable rogue” and some of us ladies fall for the charms of men like that!

Relationship expert Fran Greene, author of The Flirting Bible says: “flirting is all about being friendly and engaging. Flirting is an icebreaker and tension reducer.  The goal is to make the other person feel comfortable and welcome in your presence.  If your boyfriend is flirting, join the conversation, laugh at his jokes and enjoy the banter.  Flirting is not a sexual come on or a power play.  If you feel that your boyfriend has crossed those boundaries, it’s time to talk about what you are feeling.”


He IS cheating on you. When your boyfriend is secretive, the obvious conclusion to draw from your gut feeling is that he probably is cheating on you. In some cases, those feelings can become facts. If you suspect he’s cheating, you’ll need some more solid evidence before you can go and accuse him of doing the dirty on you. But if all signs point to so, confront him (somewhere safe) and then get out. After all, being in a relationship is about having someone to communicate with and to trust.

Dating Again with Courage and Confidence‘s Fran Greene┬ásays: “Consider yourself a lucky woman to find out that your boyfriend is cheating on you!┬á┬á┬á You deserve a man who wants you totally and completely.┬á Once you know, you have options-┬á call it quits, have a trial separation, seek counseling (either him alone or together as a couple), or use it as an opportunity to figure out if your relationship can be fixed.┬á The bottom line is that in healthy relationships no one ever needs to cheat.”

photo credit: FDP.net

Filed Under: Relationships


  1. Anonymous
    Monday, April 11th, 2016
    My ex was very secretive. I found out later he was taking a lot of recreational drugs. Also, because of this his friends did not want me around because I am straight. Possibly other girls in the picture. Possibly some homosexual activity. Too many unknowns for me. The entire relationship fell apart after 4 years. This man simply did not want to be known and his nature was to be secretive and aloof. The end.
    I hope I never find myself in this painful situation again. I know the signs now. If it's "top secret" he's not there for me.
    He does not trust me and it is a COMPLETE waste of time and emotional energy. Stay away. If he is that secretive, do not share ANYTHING with him. He will take and take and not share. Send him packing.
  2. Monday, April 11th, 2016
    Anonymous: We're so glad you saw the signs of a deceitful and toxic relationship and got out. We're rooting for you to find a man who truly adores and cherishes you!
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