The DivaGals hate the word divorce, but it’s one 50 percent of married couples will have to deal with, whether it’s yourself, your parents, your friends or the latest “conscious uncoupling” in pop culture.
What’s the cause? Who’s to blame? How do you get the strength and the wisdom to acknowledge his part ΓÇô and your own ΓÇô in the cancellation in “death do us part?”
Author Terri Brown has been through it all. Now she tells her journey of strength and ownership in her recently published book: I DidnΓÇÖt Make it into the Endzone: My Mismanaged Marriage ΓÇô using a guy’s favorite reference: football.
Your book is about divorce, but you use football to make your points. Why that analogy?
I grew up around the sport. I have brothers and my son who is active in playing football, so it seemed like a no brainer. I also wanted to attract the male reader by using something that they are comfortable with and can relate to.
People might be surprised that you say independence is one of reasons to why the marriage did not work. What would you say to the person who believes independence should be an asset and not a liability to a marriage?
My independence was what attracted him to me. In hindsight, not necessarily being independent was wrong, but having an independent mindset when you have a partnership can lead to problems. Women should use wisdom in honoring their husbands in the marriage.
Why was it important for you to write the book in the first place?
It started out as a journal; a process of healing for me. As I read through the first manuscript, it came across like he was the only one to blame in the demise of our marriage, almost one-sided. I realized that it takes two so I decided to include my shortcoming and my flaws to make the book realistic. I wanted women to be honest about reasons a marriage did not work. Divorce is devastating, and I wanted to help families realize that before it is too late.
Kim Kardashian recently got married for the third time. What advice would you give to her and other celebrities who get married and divorced at the drop of a dime?
There is so much going on when celebrities get married (laughs). Power and money is a big thing. I would ask what the marriage is really about. What is the marriage for? I would advise them to look at the real reason they got married. If it is for the wrong reason, we will see them in divorce court in a few years from now.
I DidnΓÇÖt Make It Into the Endzone: My Mismanaged Marriage is available on Amazon.com.