TV RECAP: The Bachelorette: Emily Picks Her Final Three!

By   |   July 3, 2012   |   Entertainment

Oh, my favorite night in a Bachelor/Bachelorette season is Hometown visits. Because everyone gets their dirty laundry played out by their family.

And so it goesΓǪ Chris is still a basket case from almost f-ing up the last rose ceremony and almost not getting Emily Maynard to pick him for a hometown date. Thank god she did, because I kind of love his dad. He’s just so proud of Chris, and I’m a sucka for a supportive parent. Of course, Chris’ sister is like, “If you don’t love my brother ΓÇô and I can’t see how you couldn’t — but if you don’t, you betta kick him to the curb now, ’cause if you embarrass him at the last rose ceremony, I’m going to drop kick you.” Okay, she didn’t say that, but we know that’s what she was thinkingΓǪ

Then it was off to my future husband Jef‘s dude ranch. Ummm, is he like rich? Yes! Jef’s parents didn’t bother to show up because they know there’s no chance in hell of him winding up with Emily, but at least his brother came and made their sentiment clear: “Ummm, dude, you’ve NEVER talked about being a father. You can’t drive a dune buggy under 75 miles per hour, you certainly can’t be a dad.” And then there was that poem. Seriously, what anthology of romance sonnets did he steal that from? Doesn’t matter because I was totally hooked. Send him home Emily, I want him on our weekly cast-off conference call NOW!

Emily, we only have a little similar taste in men because I don’t get the Arie appeal. I mean, I see he’s got those juicy lips, but other than thatΓǪ and having his family talking in Dutch as Emily sat there dumbfounded, yeah, I would so not be feeling that.

Ah Sean. You’re cute and comical. There was so much press on how you lived at home surrounded by stuffed animals. But it was a jokeΓǪ at least we think so. We never saw where Sean really lived. Kudos for his family being totally down for the joke. Makes up for him not saying, “I love you, Emily.”

And seriously, how has Emily gotten these guys to throw down the LOVE word without hesitation? Damn girl. You don’t need to be pursuing your TV career; you need to be teaching the rest of us how to get to the altar in six weeks!

In the endΓǪ I think Chris’ sister’s words had an impact. He was sent packing. Pretty ironic, since he seemed like the best choice for Emily. But on the positive side: hello New Bachelor!

The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC.

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